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Mitch Nettesheim posted a condolence
Sunday, April 16, 2023
As I sat down to write the eulogy the first time, it came out to 15 pages—which I knew was too long for you and it would definitely be too long for me. As I contemplated how to scale it down, but still be a fitting tribute to dad, I decided to use his nickname, Nails, as mnemonic to shape the talk. Whether you know him as Robert, Bob or Nails, I suspect you know what love feels like because of my dad’s heart. I am hoping this tribute reflects some of the memories you have or stories you have heard about him.
Nettesheim
The N in Nails stands for Nettesheim which if you didn’t know in German Nettesheim means “NICE HOME”. It would take weeks of stories to describe what it meant to be a Nettesheim. Whether Nettesheim was pronounced right or wrong, dad was proud of the heritage of his family name.
In fact, two nights before Dad passed, he spent 30 minutes at 3:30 in the morning talking to his overnight nurse—who he had not yet met—talking about relatives that crossed their family lines. That conversation was all Nettesheim for 30 minutes. Dad forgot about his pain and his inability to sleep. The nurse, quite frankly, forgot about his meds. That is a simple, yet powerful illustration of how important family was to Dad.
While the greater Nettesheim family was a big deal, my dad’s immediate family was an even bigger deal. To this day, my uncles still call each other “brother” in the most endearing fashion. Family gatherings with aunts, uncles and cousins were regular, with classic post-meal snoring sessions (by the uncles) for all to enjoy—and I am pleased to report that trait has been passed on. But where the rubber hit the road was with his bride of 64 years—my mom Val, his five kids, his 15 grands and his 25 soon to be 26 great grands. He loved on us, and loved with us, as our families grew.
Because my Grandma and Grandpa Nettesheim lived next store for most of my childhood—we learned firsthand, how to care for those you love. For the last 3 years, and more notably over the past 8 weeks, it was an absolute blessing to see the generations visit and care for dad. Nails made sure we had a NICE HOME and he was proud of it!
Artisan
The A in Nails stands for artisan. If you knew Nails the mason, you knew he could work …and you would know consequently he taught us how to work. As a block mason he built the foundation of homes, level, strong and tight. When laying brick, it was all about efficiency and accuracy. When we poured concrete, we learned to work until the work was done—no questions asked. Perhaps the work that dad enjoyed most was installing a cobblestone. Cobblestone work allowed his creativity to shine as he picked color, size, shape, location and orientation of stones. Smiling as he picked stones and shaped the joints—adding the final touch!
When dad retired, he turned those traits to woodworking, using his attention to detail, his precision and his creativity to build furniture and heirlooms that will be enjoyed for generations. Nails was a true artisan. “Fruit of the hand” will always mean something more because of how we got to watch dad work, and live.
Inspiration
The I in Nails stands for inspiration. Nails inspired us through his humility and his selfless, unassuming place. He inspired us in the spirit of sacrifice for our family. He inspired us to serve—serving his country in the Army, serving his church, serving as a coach, a coach that cared as much about character development as skill development. Most impressively, he inspired through his perseverance, resilience and grit. He was tough as Nails after all!
Dad could also invigorate with his wit and his sense of humor. Admittedly, some of his one liners were as predictable as the sunrise, but he continued to unleash new ones right up to the end. On the Monday before Dad passed, he had one of those incredibly bright and energetic days. On that day he was full of it. When his overnight nurse came in to say goodbye, she asked “how’s it going today, Bob?” Dad responded, “I am upside down.” After the nurse asked for clarification, he said “My nose is running, but my feet are smelling.” Within the hour, the daytime nurse walked in and asked “how you feeling?” Without hesitation Dad responded, “still with my hands.” Now he might have been thinking about those for days or weeks, but he delivered them with a delivery that said it was a first ever performance.
Lifetime Learner/Leisure
For starters, the L in Nails stands for lifetime learner. Some say necessity is the father of all inventions. In my dad’s case, necessity just meant you better figure it out. He was a DIY king. Nails, was full of wisdom that was fueled by an unbridled desire to get’r done. It will take a long time for all of us to break the habit of picking up the phone to ask dad how to fix something.
Even though he worked his tail off, Dad also taught us the benefit of fun, so the L in Nails can also stand for leisure. Throughout his life dad used different forms of recreation—softball and dartball, fishing and bowling, playing cards and golf—to connect and relax. He taught us how to have fun individually and as a family. Although Dad was quite an athlete in his day, he loved even more watching his grandchildren and great grandchildren compete.
Dad was also fortunate to have a group of friends that lived every season of their lives together—most of them for 70 or 80 years. We learned what being a true friend looks like watching dad make time for others. From picnics and pig roasts, to parties he hosted in the basement rec room—leisure had a place in Nails’ life.
Spiritual Strength
As already mentioned, the S in Nails could have stood for service or sacrifice. But the best reflection of who my dad was, and what he would want all of us to know personally, is spiritual strength. Dad found strength in reading scripture daily, in participating in mass, and faithfully praying on his knees at his bedside. Strikingly, the night before dad passed, in the midst of extreme discomfort, dad was uttering unintelligible sounds while continuously making the sign of the cross.
Jesus is commonly called a carpenter, but some biblical scholars suggest it is more likely Jesus was mason. Dad was a mason that became a carpenter in retirement. I am guessing father could make a good homily of that later, but what I do know for certain is that at about 11:50a on March 29th my dad, Robert, Bob, Nails Nettesheim heard “well done, good and faithful servant.”
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Dick VonGunten posted a symbolic gesture
Thursday, April 13, 2023
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Dick V tribute
In 1970 when I returned from Viet Nam, I was assigned to the Milwaukee Army Recruiting Main Station, with duty station of Waukesha. My personal life was a mess, I was very angry within, but kept It to myself. I had a couple contacts with Nails, he was my cousins husband but nothing I could call as a personal friend. Then there was a family wedding. We seemed to connect. When it was time to leave, my cousin Val couldn't find Nails. She asked me if I would check the men's room, which I did, there he was in one of the stalls sitting on a stool, fully clothed and asleep. It was obvious Nails could not drive home; we told Val we would follow her, and as we drove back to Waukesha, following Val, we observed Nails sliding further down in the passenger seat each mile we went until he was completely out of site.
From that time on, we became friends and he always had my back. We had a new house which needed a lot of finishing. Kitchen stoop, concrete driveway, sod. He was always there.
We both had sons that were of the same age. We also discovered we had similar interests in teaching the boys of hunting, fishing, camping and shooting trap. My favorite memories are going to Fort McCoy and the Chain of Lakes Areas, Waupaca camping and trout fishing with the boys on Opening Days. We also spent many a Saturday or Sunday in a farmers field Nails knew, shooting trap.
Nails also saw to it that I had tickets to Packer games when they played in Milwaukee. Val and Nails also introduced us to a group of friends from Brookfield, we called them the Brookfield Bowling gang.
In 1976, I decided to retire from the Army and we moved to Lake of the Ozarks. Val and Nails it seems was always visiting us and fishing together became even stronger. Many an hour was spent bass fishing, the two of us in my bass boat and I still have an enviable picture of Nails catching his first legal bass of 18 inches. What a smile on his face. That same beautiful smile posted in his obituary.
Nails was a person of few words, but he led me back to a life of civility and always had my back. I knew I could trust his knowledge and in always helpful ways. He will be greatly missed. Dick Von Gunten
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Margaret Hawley lit a candle
Friday, April 7, 2023
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Sending sincere sympathy and praying for strength as as you travel on this difficult journey. Hugs to you all.
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The family of Robert R. Nettesheim uploaded a photo
Friday, April 7, 2023
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